From:      Grimm, Skor

Sent:      Sunday, May 07, 2000 11:25 PM

To:      !Help (CIS HelpDesk)

Subject:      The e-redemption of my soul.

My CIS redeemers;

 

            I know that you, the illustrious employees of Computer and Information Systems, have been receiving a lot of flack about the new "filtering" software that has been installed on the SPU computer network last week.  In spite of all the whining ninnies, I would like you to know that the filter, and therefore you the people who installed the filter, have made a real difference in my life.  For years, I struggled with a shameful addiction.  With the unfiltered high-speed internet, it became all too easy to feed my terrible mind-soiling habit.  I would stay up late at night, long after everyone else had gone to bed, gazing slack-jawed at my computer monitor as I indulged in my one and only desire.  I couldn't stop myself.  I was driven nearly to the point of suicide by the vicious addictive cycle.  French, German, Spanish, and don't forget the titillating Portuguese.  Back and forth, forth and back...  on and on to the destruction of my very soul.

 

            But now all that has changed.  With the new filtering software, I have been given a new chance at life.  With every translation I try to make,

Requested Page is Unavailable

It contains inappropriate content.

Stares me down, the stalwart guard of my language purity, ensuring that I do not become multi-lingual, therefore forever damning the English language to the muddying influence of so-called foreign "tongues."  I am eternally grateful, and thank you from the bottom of my soul, for saving me, and (I am sure) the many others like me from the hellish cesspool of sin and shame that is http://babelfish.altavista.com/.

 

With everlasting adoration,

 

Your faithful servant,

 

Skor Grimm