Have you ever thought of what life would be like if there were no light houses in existence? I didn't think so, so here's your chance to do so. Done already? Well okay then. Your conclusion probably went along the lines of this: "I don't want to think today." Well okay then, I guess I'm just going to have to tell you what the world would be like if we didn't have any light houses.

     Well imagine this. You are a captain of SS Blue Flamingo and are on a very important mission to deliver three tons of marijuana to the U.S. so that all the suffering cancer patients can toke up and forget they have cancer. Well, day turns to night, and you are in Dead Cows Corner. You can't see a thing, so being a captain, you decide to trust your instincts. The only problem with this is that you are not a fish or a highly intelligent dolphin or anything like that, so you don't have any instincts when it comes to water.

     You take a left because that's what your late great grandfather is telling you to do. Well it turns out that your great grandfather's voice is actually the wind going through the rocks, which are a lot closer than you think, and you slam into the jagged black death of the Blue Flamingo.

     How could this have been prevented you may ask? You ask such good questions... let's turn to Acts 3:14 to find the answer. Okay, so Acts 3:14 doesn't say anything about it, but common sense tells us that if there were a very bright source of light rotating at about 38.4 rpm located off coast of Dead Cows Corner, the Blue Flamingo would still be aloft delivering marijuana to suffering cancer patients. But now since there was no lighthouse, it crashed, and the marijuana was found and sold by the black market. Hey! Stop thinking that right now! Of course that would be a bad thing!

     Also, have you ever thought of the entertainment value of the lighthouse? Probably not, so I will tell you. Well, first off, bungee jumping. Yes, people actually do bungee jump off of lighthouses, or I think so anyway. And if they don't then they should. Aside from bungee jumping, there's the television aspect. We have all seen that ever famous Tom and Jerry where Jerry keeps on turning out the light and Tom keeps on getting in trouble for it.

     And if there is no other point to lighthouses, they make really pretty pictures. Who hasn't seen a picture of a lighthouse sitting with pride upon a high desolate rock? I have actually seen a whole calendar of pictures of lighthouses. The tall cylinders gleaming in the bright sun, or sitting peacefully under a full moon makes a really great distraction to the scenery.

     In short, or probably in long at this point, what I am getting at is that a lighthouse is a beautiful thing and should be taken very seriously when considering the fact that they probably save people's lives and save countless loads of bananas to be shipped into the United States (only to be brutally slaughtered, but that's another story).

     Pirk