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As of right now we are waiting on 2 things to move forward.

We’re waiting until Jonathan’s 5 year mark for living in WA (mid Feb.), so we can avoid running a background check through CA.

Our case worker is concerned with our discipline. The fact that we spank Maezie is huge. Even though we know we cannot spank a state child, and are in the process of eliminating it before a child is placed with us, she doesn’t want to move forward until I, specifically, have “reprogrammed” my discipline. In other words, we have to stop spanking immediately.

Also, we (but mostly I) have to take a parenting class. She’s really pushing for this state approved class called Positive Parenting. Just the name puts a bad taste in my mouth. I am hoping that I can find a suitable alternative; suggestions are welcomed. We did agree to go to an “Intro to Positive Parenting” class this Thursday night. Anyone want to babysit? =) Once we’ve done a class, and she’s convinced we have “other tools in our tool belt” then we can finish up the home study. She has said numerous times that her “intent is to approve the home study.” She assures me that we’re not stopping, we’re just waiting…

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Here’s to the hope that our major hiccups are behind us!

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At this time we’re not planning on getting foster licensed. We’ve been told we don’t need to in order to adopt waiting children. I hope this is true! We’ve been given changing information so much it’s hard to know which to believe.

Two steps forward. One step back. Two steps forward….

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Here it is with the lower portion in “seat” mode:

And here it is in “bed” mode:

It’s starting to look like a kids’ room!

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The post New Furniture appeared first on Ellis.FYI.

She started by asking a little about our preferences about children, and from there our conversation shifted a lot. We talked about ages, our finances and why Tim left Redfin. We walked through the house, and have the official list of things to work through. She signed off on about three quarters of the list today. Surprisingly, there isn’t a lot of “fix this.” We’ll need to add hand rails and lock up medicines and knives. We had a lot of questions about specifics that Dani is looking into. Now that I’m writing this, I wish I had taken notes! =)

We’ll only be licensing the main floor (as of now). They apparently only license the floor that the children sleep on. The bedroom is just shy of being big enough for 3 kids! So, we’ll try to license it for 3. That means we’ll need to set up the room for 3 children. We’ll need a bunk bed and a pack and play. So, if anyone has any leads on kids’ furniture, let us know.

Here’s the vague timeline: Our first step is to fill out the state application and background checks. We have 90 days from the date we sign on the background check to finish our home study. Dani says it takes them at least a month after the deadline for the state to license. So, the earliest we could get a placement is 4 months from the date we sign on our form.

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I’m still unsure whether we’ll have to do more paperwork for the state. I apparently don’t know how to ask the right questions to get a clear answer from Antioch. If there is more to do, I think it will be lumped in with our home study.

So now we wait a little bit. I’ve been told it will take about 3 weeks for our file to be looked over and a case worker assigned. I’d really like to work with Dani again, she was nice. Once we have a case worker, we can start our home study. I have a feeling things may pick up a lot of speed at that point. Kinda exciting. Kinda terrifying.

Sorry to those who were hoping, but we won’t have our children by Christmas.

On a side note: We met another family, originally from TX, who lives just blocks from us. They adopted older children out of foster care too. Hopefully we’ll become good friends. =) I look forward to knowing people, who live in close proximity, that have gone through the same thing.

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I’m feeling vulnerable, so you get to get a peak at my thoughts & fears.

If I’m honest with myself there is a part of me that doesn’t want to keep going. There are days that I’m motivated and eager to move forward; to plan and do the paperwork. Then there are other days. Those days I get a lump in my throat. My anxiety level is out of control at the thought of adoption. The idea of raising children who come out of foster care terrifies me. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be momma to more kids. hI just have a hard time accepting that this is the way it will happen.

It’s so much work! I know that all parenting is work – hard work. But when you raise adopted children, it seems like the work load is heavier. I still struggle with why I have to prove my parental worth to the state, while others easily get pregnant without effort… this was not my plan.

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Last night was our last part of Module 1. Between now and Aug. 7th, we have to do an hour each (I believe) of field experience. That’s an activity that will “bring further awareness of the children within the system and/or the role of caregivers within the system.” Seems pretty open ended. Some examples they gave where to attend court or have a coffee with a caseworker. Do you have any other ideas?

Thank you, thank you for the babysitter angels who allowed us to attend at such late notice!

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Here’s what’s left to do (from my understanding):

Renew all our certifications and medical forms
Complete the new Caregiver Core Training course (replaces PRIDE)
Complete & return Antioch’s homework packet w/in 90 days
…I think we get assigned a case worker here…
Complete the State’s homework packet
Home Study
Child placement
Unknown time living as a foster family
Adoption Finalization (end goal!!!)

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So, you can either join the FB group, and/or subscribe to receive emails when we update here.

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We took Steps 4 & 5 in reverse order.  And Steps 6 & 7 can happen simultaneously.  We are right at the beginning of our home study process.  Meaning, we haven’t even gotten the homework.  This is the part of the process where the agency & state pry as deep as they want to into our lives to see if we’ll be fit parents.  I’ve been told it’s very intrusive.  We’ll see.  As far as I understand, it involves a lot of questions with essay-style answers, and at least 2 in-home visits each from the agency’s worker and the state’s worker.  Our house will have to pass safety & health inceptions.  We’re working on that.  We basically have to do the home study process twice: once with Antioch & once with the state.  This is the one thing I hope they do change before we’re through.  It is extremely silly that the state insists on doing a study of their own.

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Welcome to the “Adoption” section of our blog.  To make it easier to keep up, you can follow the RSS feed.  If I’m good, I’ll keep you up to date.  I’ve thought about starting this a lot.  The problem is that I don’t know exactly where to start or what to say.  So, I’ll just start typing.

I guess I should start at the beginning.  We’ve been trying to conceive for 4 ½ years now.  After the first 18 or so months, we talked to my doctor.  She did a few basic blood tests, and put me on Metformin^*.  Six months later we started seeing a specialist.  We went through treatment for 18 or so months.  Last December we decided to stop.  If you want to know specifics about all that you can ask and I’ll answer.  For the sake of those who aren’t at all interested, I’ll skip the details.  What are our options now?  We could keep “trying” and/or adopt.  We chose and.  Yes, we would still love to have a baby.  Obviously, we have no control and it seems like God is saying, “NO.”

So, adoption.  We’ve been thinking about going this route for a long while now.  The original idea was to have one or two of our own, then adopt.  When having our own began to seem just out of reach, we started considering moving adoption up on the priority line.  It got to a point were we could pay thousands for a procedure that gave the chance of maybe having a baby, or paying those thousands and be guaranteed a child.  It began to feel selfish to want our own blood, when there are so many children who want and need parents.

We did some research on international and local adoptions.  The amount of money it was going to cost repulsed me; especially international ones.  It feels like foreign countries are selling their unwanted children^**.  The words that I have said over and over when talking about abortion kept coming to mind.  “If you just have your baby, I’ll raise it!”  So, we decided on local.

We had heard of an adoption agency that allowed people to adopt for free.  Amazing.  So, we started looking into, and decided to go with Antioch Adoptions.  Keep in mind a lot of this thought process was happening alongside fertility treatments.  Please don’t think that we stopped treatment and then jumped into adoption without spending tons of time thinking/praying about it.

I think that’s a decent summary to start with.

^* No, I’m not diabetic.
^** I understand that at least part of that $$ is to protect their children from being placed in horrible people’s hands.  But still, $25,000?!?!?

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