I wrote this a while ago, but it still feels true:
I’m feeling vulnerable, so you get to get a peak at my thoughts & fears.
If I’m honest with myself there is a part of me that doesn’t want to keep going. There are days that I’m motivated and eager to move forward; to plan and do the paperwork. Then there are other days. Those days I get a lump in my throat. My anxiety level is out of control at the thought of adoption. The idea of raising children who come out of foster care terrifies me. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be momma to more kids. hI just have a hard time accepting that this is the way it will happen.
It’s so much work! I know that all parenting is work – hard work. But when you raise adopted children, it seems like the work load is heavier. I still struggle with why I have to prove my parental worth to the state, while others easily get pregnant without effort… this was not my plan.
Yup, that’s our completed homework all ready to be mailed tomorrow!
As you can see (above) we’re just plugging along with the paper work. Almost done with the homework packet. Feel free to bug Tim about finishing his part. I’ve already copied and pasted what I can! =)
We finished up the last class today. It’s nice to have that done and out of the way. And, I got the satisfaction of crossing it off our list!
We’ve completed the first segment of the new Caregiver Core Training. In case you are wondering, this is a whole different curriculum from PRIDE. CCT was written specifically for WA State, incorporating our laws and such (whereas PRIDE apparently was national). It’s split up into 3 sections: Module 1, Field Experience & Module 2. We’ll need to do a little rescheduling of Mod. 2 since the last class is on the same day as Maezie’s birthday party. I prefer PRIDE, probably because it requires less of my time. =)
Last night was our last part of Module 1. Between now and Aug. 7th, we have to do an hour each (I believe) of field experience. That’s an activity that will “bring further awareness of the children within the system and/or the role of caregivers within the system.” Seems pretty open ended. Some examples they gave where to attend court or have a coffee with a caseworker. Do you have any other ideas?
Thank you, thank you for the babysitter angels who allowed us to attend at such late notice!